Have you ever been on a long drive and really felt like the sanity of your pants could be in danger if you failed to find a bathroom within the ensuing ten minutes? It is a problem the world over, the bane of motorists from Brazil to Botswana, from Australia to Alaska. Everyone needs to use the bathroom during the regular course of their lives. Usually, we find ourselves within reaching distance of relief; whether at home or at the office, a bathroom is such a necessary part of our lives that they are situated almost everywhere. They allow us to let our bodies function as regularly as possible, so we can get on with the more pleasant parts of life.
But what happens when we are out on the open road? Or even when we are driving through the middle of a big city but can’t seem to find an agreeable toilet due to various reason, but mist typically cleanliness, or lack thereof. What can we do in these situations but painfully sweat at the wheel until the dawning of the realisation that if the impending load isn’t dumped in the regular place in the immediate future, this could well be a public regression to childhood where faeces in one’s pants wasn’t half as embarrassing?
Fortunately, some resourceful people have developed a solution for us, and it feels like it’s about time, doesn’t it? Enter the ‘Bumper Dumper’. Made in the United States, the Bumper Dumper’s website claims that it is, “The only hitch mounted portable toilet patented to use any standard full size toilet seat. It’s the most comfortable, stable and sanitary porta potty in the world. Use it in the hitch receiver or as a stand-alone unit”. Wow.
The product’s website also explains that it can come in handy during natural disasters, presumably saving a natural disaster on a smaller (but still embarrassing scale). It reads, “Use in Disaster Relief, Hurricane and Earthquake preparedness, and other situations where a sanitation situation may occur”.
If you decide you quite like the Bumper Dumper, you can literally become a t-shirt wearing fan as the website also sells those for the hard-core fans.
Not everyone sees the merits quite the way they do though. InventorSpot.com was ready to flush the idea down the proverbial toilet. It said, “The obvious problem with using it in the city is that you’d be a bit visible. You can’t very well pull over in Times Square, rig it up to the back of your truck and carry on like nothing is out of the ordinary,” author Bob J. wrote in a review, according to the Huffington Post. “Even in New York, this is going to raise some eyebrows”.
He makes a valid point. As much as we might like to provide this very important problem with a suitable solution, for the time being at least, we may just have to either plan ahead, or suffer the indignity of soiling our pants. But let’s be honest, if you find yourself having to number two in your car, what better place to do it…. Picture it; you’re out on the open road with the wind blowing through your hair, and not a care in the world. How liberating will it feel when you realise that, as an adult, you just pooped your pant sin public and lived through the experience to tell the tale?